It took all of December to find it. My wife searched the web daily for any sign of it, She asked numerous people. Then one day it happened, she found it. Can you guess what it is?
I had no idea it even existed. I had heard about it, but never seen it. I must say it is the true meaning of Christmas.
On 15th East between 13th and 9th South is a small canyon-like park. I had no idea there was even a park there. Once a year four different Christian denomination churches come together and transform it into a small city of David. Roman solders take the cost of admission from you, a sack of food for the food bank. You then enter a small market with live animals, hot drinks and a masses of people in costume with no room in any of the Inns. The entire place is lit with torches and luminaries.
A snowy pathway leads you out of the market past a 1500 lb camel named Chuck. Ella was able to pet Chuck. Leah was afraid of Chuck and pretty much demanded her mother carry her through out. Even though it was extremely cold, Leah refused, boots, hat and gloves.
Past Chuck and over a small hill is a small clearing. In the clearing is a small stable, complete wise men, two donkeys, twentieth century light and sound system, and of course Marry, Joseph and a real baby Jesus. On the hill over looking the stable were sheep tended by shepherds. The sound system plays the Christmas story. Ella was able to make it to the front row and watch the Christmas story acted out. Her favorite part was baby Jesus. Leah's favorite was the lambs. Susie favorite part was Leah screaming, "Dad, Ella, lets go!" when the story finished. My favorite part was just being together with my family and enjoying the moment.
Sheep, goats and little shepherd campfires run along the entire trail leading out of the park. It's peaceful and serene and the kids can pet the animals along the way. As we walked along the path, I thought to myself... This is what Christmas is all about!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Scary Christmas?
Scary Christmas? When you are two years old the traditions of Christmas can be a little scary. I know of a few adults that, even today, climb up the wall or head for the nearest exit when they hear Santa's Sleigh bells. I, myself, found visiting Santa at Aurbach's when I was a child very displeasing.
In our house we have a Shelf Elf. He sits on the mantle over the fire place and watches you. He tells Santa about all the good things he sees and at night he moves to new places in the house to watch the children. When you're four years old and find the shelf elf has moved during the night, it is very exciting! But when you're two, the thought of a decoration, that should just stay put, moving about the house is a little upsetting. It makes me wonder what Tim Burton's parents did to him.
In our house we have a Shelf Elf. He sits on the mantle over the fire place and watches you. He tells Santa about all the good things he sees and at night he moves to new places in the house to watch the children. When you're four years old and find the shelf elf has moved during the night, it is very exciting! But when you're two, the thought of a decoration, that should just stay put, moving about the house is a little upsetting. It makes me wonder what Tim Burton's parents did to him.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I spy
I spy with my little eye. It is a game we play to pass time and divert my kids attention. It is also kind of fun. You know, I spy with my little eye something red. The other people look around and guess all things red.
The other morning while my daughters were taking a tub. The girls were fighting over a tub toy so I called out "I spy with my little eye something brown" Ella sat straight up, dropped the toy and looked at her sister then herself and said in the most confident, sweet way "Is it me and Leah"? It's so endearing how Ella has embraced her skin color, she looks at it, as she should, like it's her hair or eye color. She loves that she has brown, cocoa (as she calls it) skin.
So when she asked if what I spied was her, I had to giggle before telling her it really was her mom's shirt.
The other morning while my daughters were taking a tub. The girls were fighting over a tub toy so I called out "I spy with my little eye something brown" Ella sat straight up, dropped the toy and looked at her sister then herself and said in the most confident, sweet way "Is it me and Leah"? It's so endearing how Ella has embraced her skin color, she looks at it, as she should, like it's her hair or eye color. She loves that she has brown, cocoa (as she calls it) skin.
So when she asked if what I spied was her, I had to giggle before telling her it really was her mom's shirt.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
So who are you?
What would be your theme song? Monday night we shared family night with some good friends in a suite at the local ballpark, thanks to Ms. Barlow. She really rocks. Thank you again for a great night. Between taking Ella to the in stadium Fannz store and a 45 minute wait for the train, I did catch a little bit of the game.
Earlier this summer I took in a Dodger game with 2 very cool brother in laws and one extra cool nephew. The Dodger game with it's awesome garlic fries and the very eventful ride home would easily be placed on my top 5 lists of fun events of the summer, if I had such a list. Alas, I am not that organized and would hate to demean the wonderful summer by adopting a list.
Sorry, I digressed. The original question was headed to this... If you were a major league player, what song would you want to be played when you go up to bat? The second question is, who picks the song? You or your team mates?
I'd really like my song to be "Getting jiggy with it" - Will Smith.
Actually, I have a challenge...tell me your song and what you think someone else who reads this blog's song would be?
Earlier this summer I took in a Dodger game with 2 very cool brother in laws and one extra cool nephew. The Dodger game with it's awesome garlic fries and the very eventful ride home would easily be placed on my top 5 lists of fun events of the summer, if I had such a list. Alas, I am not that organized and would hate to demean the wonderful summer by adopting a list.
Sorry, I digressed. The original question was headed to this... If you were a major league player, what song would you want to be played when you go up to bat? The second question is, who picks the song? You or your team mates?
I'd really like my song to be "Getting jiggy with it" - Will Smith.
Actually, I have a challenge...tell me your song and what you think someone else who reads this blog's song would be?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Triple X?
We need bees. We have birds, but we really need bees. If you're reading this to your kids, you should stop now. You see, this post is about one of my little obsessions, Sex. I am not getting enough Sex. Part of it is the Deer, but for the most part it is the bees. Does that make sense?
Let me start from the end, the tomato. I love a warm, fresh, juicy, firm, just picked tomato from the garden. This year, I have not had a single one. Part of the problem was the cold weather in May, so our tomato plants did not mature very quickly. Then in June, the Deer ate the blossoms. Now, after putting up rope fences and barricades to deter the deer from ruining our crop, only a few of the blossoms are getting pollinated. You know, that means the tomatoes are not getting any sex. So without sex, I am suffering from a lack of all my favorite summer meals...BLTs, warm tomatoes with salt from the vine, with fresh corn, bruschetta, fresh salsa...do you get the picture? I'm really needing the sex!
You know what is really sad, my Mother, brags about the sex she is getting. I think if I were willing to ask, my mother-in-law would brag too.
Let me start from the end, the tomato. I love a warm, fresh, juicy, firm, just picked tomato from the garden. This year, I have not had a single one. Part of the problem was the cold weather in May, so our tomato plants did not mature very quickly. Then in June, the Deer ate the blossoms. Now, after putting up rope fences and barricades to deter the deer from ruining our crop, only a few of the blossoms are getting pollinated. You know, that means the tomatoes are not getting any sex. So without sex, I am suffering from a lack of all my favorite summer meals...BLTs, warm tomatoes with salt from the vine, with fresh corn, bruschetta, fresh salsa...do you get the picture? I'm really needing the sex!
You know what is really sad, my Mother, brags about the sex she is getting. I think if I were willing to ask, my mother-in-law would brag too.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A trip to Bountiful?
I just want to thank the Neff Gang for a great time on Sunday. We just got back from Provo. Provo is far away from reality. We had a great time but we're happy to be home. Utah by 5.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Shut up?
Wow! I know I know it has been a long time since my last entry. I was waiting for just the right story. I know none of you care about my weekend plans, my latest purchase, pictures of my feet, what town I was in last or what things I baked this weekend. If anyone does care about that, it was chocolate chip cookies. I know a few of you do care about my children and the stories about them. Well this a very unusual story.
It all started last Sunday when one of my nephews told another one to, "shut up", in front of Ella. A discussion ensued about bad words and how we should not use them. It was decided that, "shut up" was rude and should never be used. If someone said it, that person would have to go to time out. If any of you know my wife you know, "shut up!" is one of her favorite phrases. She uses it most often when talking on the phone or when someone is telling her a story. She uses it so much it even replaced "pants on fire" several years ago.
So, last night we had my sister in-law and her boyfriend over for dinner. During dinner my sister in-law said something, I can't even remember what it was, but sure enough my wife blurted out, "SHUT UP"! Well you can imagine Ella's reaction. She came over got on my lap, and whispered softly in my ear. "Mommy said, shut up" I asked her what we should do? We both agreed that time out was appropriate. Susie was almost excited that she would get some alone time and was ecstatic that the norm was one minute for every year, until she forgot that in time out you can't talk, move or do anything. In the end, since we had guests over, we all decided that we would set the timer for one minute. I think that was one of the longest, quietest minutes of Susie's life. I'm guessing shut up is getting replaced quickly with something else!
It all started last Sunday when one of my nephews told another one to, "shut up", in front of Ella. A discussion ensued about bad words and how we should not use them. It was decided that, "shut up" was rude and should never be used. If someone said it, that person would have to go to time out. If any of you know my wife you know, "shut up!" is one of her favorite phrases. She uses it most often when talking on the phone or when someone is telling her a story. She uses it so much it even replaced "pants on fire" several years ago.
So, last night we had my sister in-law and her boyfriend over for dinner. During dinner my sister in-law said something, I can't even remember what it was, but sure enough my wife blurted out, "SHUT UP"! Well you can imagine Ella's reaction. She came over got on my lap, and whispered softly in my ear. "Mommy said, shut up" I asked her what we should do? We both agreed that time out was appropriate. Susie was almost excited that she would get some alone time and was ecstatic that the norm was one minute for every year, until she forgot that in time out you can't talk, move or do anything. In the end, since we had guests over, we all decided that we would set the timer for one minute. I think that was one of the longest, quietest minutes of Susie's life. I'm guessing shut up is getting replaced quickly with something else!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
1365 Days with an Accident
Well guess what we did the other night? (I am knocking on wood as I type.) We actually went to Instacare for a traumatic injury. We have been very lucky we have not had an injury requiring a trip to Doctor since becoming parents.
E and L were playing a game of chase around the house before bed. Like most kids, both girls really don't like going to bed, so right before bed time they attempt to wind themselves up. E ran down the hall L followed. E ran to the bedroom and attempted to shut the door before L got there. L however attempted to keep the door open by placing her hand in between the door and wall on the hinge side of the door. E placed her full weight on the door to shut it. She was not actually trying to slam it (she's been getting into trouble for doing that lately) just shut it over and over and over again.
I was on the other side of the house and heard my wife yelling for my help. Then I heard L scream. L had an imprinted line of the door between her knuckles and wrist about a quarter inch deep on both sides of her hand. She was not moving it. It was swelling and turning various shades of purple and blue and just hanging there. After icing it, administering Motrin and giving lots of cuggles (that's E's word for snuggling and cuddling) we decided we better get an x-ray, thinking her hand may be broken.
Luckily Instacare wasn't very busy and we were able to get in quickly. I actually called for an appointment. We realized everything was going to be fine when just as the doctor came in L started clapping furiously. Sort of embarrassing for us...I guess we're paranoid parents. The Doctor was nice and understood our nervousness and took the x-ray, i think just to appease us. Great news, it wasn't broken. Good thing too...a cast in the summer on a toddler would be awful!
On a side note. E does not want sails (buggies) for dinner.
E and L were playing a game of chase around the house before bed. Like most kids, both girls really don't like going to bed, so right before bed time they attempt to wind themselves up. E ran down the hall L followed. E ran to the bedroom and attempted to shut the door before L got there. L however attempted to keep the door open by placing her hand in between the door and wall on the hinge side of the door. E placed her full weight on the door to shut it. She was not actually trying to slam it (she's been getting into trouble for doing that lately) just shut it over and over and over again.
I was on the other side of the house and heard my wife yelling for my help. Then I heard L scream. L had an imprinted line of the door between her knuckles and wrist about a quarter inch deep on both sides of her hand. She was not moving it. It was swelling and turning various shades of purple and blue and just hanging there. After icing it, administering Motrin and giving lots of cuggles (that's E's word for snuggling and cuddling) we decided we better get an x-ray, thinking her hand may be broken.
Luckily Instacare wasn't very busy and we were able to get in quickly. I actually called for an appointment. We realized everything was going to be fine when just as the doctor came in L started clapping furiously. Sort of embarrassing for us...I guess we're paranoid parents. The Doctor was nice and understood our nervousness and took the x-ray, i think just to appease us. Great news, it wasn't broken. Good thing too...a cast in the summer on a toddler would be awful!
On a side note. E does not want sails (buggies) for dinner.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Do you like French food?
When I was in 8th grade I insisted my parents take me to La Parisian, a local French Restaurant. I was taking French as a foreign language requirement and I think I actually got extra credit for eating french food. I remember I had to try the escargot and you know ,they were not bad. After that first trip, my family became regulars at La Parisian, celebrating family events there until the day it's doors sadly closed a few years ago.
Well, our garden is infested with snails. So, for the last 2 weeks my girls and I have been gathering them up, placing them in a big bucket with corn meal. They will be ready for Family dinner this Sunday!
My wife being the voice of reason, said most people are not as adventuresome as me in eating. She reminded me that some family members only eat white food and would not be excited with this epicurian adventure. If I actually served escargot it might be the last time we have people over. All I could do is rub my chin and say, hmm interesting, what about fried worms?
Actually, I really do miss La Parisian.
Well, our garden is infested with snails. So, for the last 2 weeks my girls and I have been gathering them up, placing them in a big bucket with corn meal. They will be ready for Family dinner this Sunday!
My wife being the voice of reason, said most people are not as adventuresome as me in eating. She reminded me that some family members only eat white food and would not be excited with this epicurian adventure. If I actually served escargot it might be the last time we have people over. All I could do is rub my chin and say, hmm interesting, what about fried worms?
Actually, I really do miss La Parisian.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Let's get ready to RUMBLE!
In this corner weighing in at 23 pounds L ...... the hair puller. And in this corner weighing in at 30 pounds E.... the screamer!! I am have no idea how it began. I was making dinner. The girls were playing dolls on the floor. They had spent the day with Grammy. She said they were absolutely perfect. I had come home a little early and began dinner. I was over the sink rinsing and cutting strawberrys. I heard a few little screams, then two huge screams. I looked over, L had her older sister by the ponytail. E had flipped L over her head and was now pinning her to the floor. L's hand never let go of E's hair.
I had to pull one sister off the top of the other and pry E's hair out of L's hand. One cried and said the other should go to time out. One just cried. Having no idea who was at fault I placed them on opposite ends of the couch. Cleaned up all the dolls and the toys, which could have caused the up roar. For the next 30 minutes making dinner was pointless. I should have put on a black and white striped shirt and grabbed a whistle.
The problem is each little girl has amazing huge dark eyes that look so innocent. Each know exactly how to look at their Dad as if to say, how could I do anything wrong. My mind flashed forward to the teenage years and a slight panic attack ensued. I can hear all of the slamming doors now!
I know exactly how it ended though. It ended with 2 little girls both in tears and blaming the other one. One pinned to the ground. The other had a hand full of hair.
I had to pull one sister off the top of the other and pry E's hair out of L's hand. One cried and said the other should go to time out. One just cried. Having no idea who was at fault I placed them on opposite ends of the couch. Cleaned up all the dolls and the toys, which could have caused the up roar. For the next 30 minutes making dinner was pointless. I should have put on a black and white striped shirt and grabbed a whistle.
The problem is each little girl has amazing huge dark eyes that look so innocent. Each know exactly how to look at their Dad as if to say, how could I do anything wrong. My mind flashed forward to the teenage years and a slight panic attack ensued. I can hear all of the slamming doors now!
I know exactly how it ended though. It ended with 2 little girls both in tears and blaming the other one. One pinned to the ground. The other had a hand full of hair.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Movie Geeks! Yes you .... !
Do you want a inexpensive, fun Friday night activity? Head to your local cineplex, preferably one located close to a few restaurants, sit back and get ready to people watch. Those women that made fun of people dressing up for the premier night of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are now with all of their BFFs and dressed up in their sassiest outfits for their own fantasy faire....the premier weekend of Sex and the City Movie. I just got back from dinner with the kids. I am happy to say, I am still laughing out loud. I think Nordstrom, Macy's, and every other department store in the state is sold out of summer dresses, 5 inch heels and hats.
I'm not making fun of the movie, just these sad girls that think if they dress up like Carrie Bradshaw, drink a cosmo and watch the movie, their life will morph into a fabulous uptown NYC life.
On a sad note, I had my annual physical today. Can any one tell me what movie Chevy Chase sings, "Moon River"? He then asked the Doctor, what?
I'm not making fun of the movie, just these sad girls that think if they dress up like Carrie Bradshaw, drink a cosmo and watch the movie, their life will morph into a fabulous uptown NYC life.
On a sad note, I had my annual physical today. Can any one tell me what movie Chevy Chase sings, "Moon River"? He then asked the Doctor, what?
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Standing in the Rain
$135.00 for a barrel of oil. It was at $65.00 a barrel a year ago. I think this will cause economic pressures around the world that will have dramatically impact on our daily lives with in the next 6 months. One indicator that our lives will change is mass transit.
I often look over at those at the bus stop with a little bit of jealousy. The idea of relaxing or sleeping on the bus is dreamy. Except for the fact that I would have two little ones with me. The other morning there was a very handsome gentleman at the bus stop waiting in the rain. So handsome I had to stop and offer him a ride. As I pulled over to the bus stop, small voices in the back, excitably exclaimed Papa!!!
After careful analysis of gas prices and mileage my father has begun taking the bus, a few days a week. This is wonderful for me and my girls. Every now and then we catch him at the bus stop or at the office and can share a ride home. Although, the girls are very shy they love riding with Papa. They love sharing their Princess, Wiggles and Christmas music with him. I just can't wait until they hit him up for College funds.
I often look over at those at the bus stop with a little bit of jealousy. The idea of relaxing or sleeping on the bus is dreamy. Except for the fact that I would have two little ones with me. The other morning there was a very handsome gentleman at the bus stop waiting in the rain. So handsome I had to stop and offer him a ride. As I pulled over to the bus stop, small voices in the back, excitably exclaimed Papa!!!
After careful analysis of gas prices and mileage my father has begun taking the bus, a few days a week. This is wonderful for me and my girls. Every now and then we catch him at the bus stop or at the office and can share a ride home. Although, the girls are very shy they love riding with Papa. They love sharing their Princess, Wiggles and Christmas music with him. I just can't wait until they hit him up for College funds.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
If someone wants to enter this contest. I am willing to put my acting skills to the test. I think a great idea would be I am willing pay the $3.99 for a 6 pack of Klondikes.
http://www.klondikecontest.com/Home.aspx
http://www.klondikecontest.com/Home.aspx
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Yard work?
There is nothing quite like work to bring people together. Last night I spent a few hours doing yard work and planting flowers at my mother-in-laws home. I really enjoyed it. It took me back to the first time several years ago I worked all day mending a fence at the family cabin with my brother-in-laws. I have to say I really enjoyed that day too.
I think I could have worked a little harder last night and stayed longer, but with the girls running around it was a big distraction. Not to mention the excitement from a 3 year old who for the first time enjoyed playing with bugs and worms.
Hard work is a good bonding experience and I had a great time with the extended family.
I think I could have worked a little harder last night and stayed longer, but with the girls running around it was a big distraction. Not to mention the excitement from a 3 year old who for the first time enjoyed playing with bugs and worms.
Hard work is a good bonding experience and I had a great time with the extended family.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
What kind of Adventure do you want?
Some Advertising campaigns are really great. I actually really enjoy watching the Clio awards. I also don't mind being told about the effectiveness of the product. Like, Bob Dole telling me and the world he suffers from E. D. However, some ads leave a lot to be desired. The other morning I was in a Maverick store. I had been up a few extra hours the night before with my daughter and needed a large coffee. As I was filling my coffee up, the Maverick slogan , "adventure begins here" blared shamelessly across the in store stereo system. I will really be annoyed when, they sell advertising to in store radio. (Brian there is your million dollar idea for the day.)
The real question is do I really want my adventure to being in Maverick? I glanced around at the English muffins with egg that had probably been baked yesterday. The Mayo for the hot dogs that I am sure sits out at a temperature that bacterium would love. All I could think, do I really want a salmonella adventure.
But it did not stop there, you have to walk by the prophylactics to check out. All I could think is do employees tamper with products just for the adventure of it? Now that could be an adventure. Hey, remember that late night we stopped by the Maverick just before we went home to start our adventure. Well the product they sold us did not work. But, the good news is the EP test they sold worked just fine!
Like Disneyland, they carry the adventure theme a little far. Not only do the employees wear shirts patterned after Steve Erwin, but their name tags actual say Adventure Guide. Well I just had to participate. When my adventure guy Gary asked me how I was doing and if I found everything ok? I had to respond, "Gary, how could I be anything but great today, my adventure begins here." He gave me a very funny look, and asked if I found everything ok. I said "I think so, but you're the adventure guide, do I need a GPS system for the real Maverick Adventure?" Again a funny look. Shot gun shells for the Maverick Monster? I paid for my coffee, then as I was walking away, Gary said in a soft voice, "stay away from the hot dog bar, the Montezuma's revenge Adventure begins there." Just as I suspected.
Ok what product are these?
Plop pop _____ _____ oh what a relief it is?
Where the Beef?
The only way to fly fly?
Fly the Friendly skies of _______
I would like to buy the world a _________
Tell them Madge sent you.
The real question is do I really want my adventure to being in Maverick? I glanced around at the English muffins with egg that had probably been baked yesterday. The Mayo for the hot dogs that I am sure sits out at a temperature that bacterium would love. All I could think, do I really want a salmonella adventure.
But it did not stop there, you have to walk by the prophylactics to check out. All I could think is do employees tamper with products just for the adventure of it? Now that could be an adventure. Hey, remember that late night we stopped by the Maverick just before we went home to start our adventure. Well the product they sold us did not work. But, the good news is the EP test they sold worked just fine!
Like Disneyland, they carry the adventure theme a little far. Not only do the employees wear shirts patterned after Steve Erwin, but their name tags actual say Adventure Guide. Well I just had to participate. When my adventure guy Gary asked me how I was doing and if I found everything ok? I had to respond, "Gary, how could I be anything but great today, my adventure begins here." He gave me a very funny look, and asked if I found everything ok. I said "I think so, but you're the adventure guide, do I need a GPS system for the real Maverick Adventure?" Again a funny look. Shot gun shells for the Maverick Monster? I paid for my coffee, then as I was walking away, Gary said in a soft voice, "stay away from the hot dog bar, the Montezuma's revenge Adventure begins there." Just as I suspected.
Ok what product are these?
Plop pop _____ _____ oh what a relief it is?
Where the Beef?
The only way to fly fly?
Fly the Friendly skies of _______
I would like to buy the world a _________
Tell them Madge sent you.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Free Ice Cream
Just in case you did not know! I am giving away free ice cream tomorrow to all my blog readers. Not really, but tomorrow is free ice cream cone day at Ben and Jerry's. Seems my girls are missing library day for an ice cream adventure!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Dude!!!!!!!
The entrance to I-80 at 1300 south west bound can be a little frustrating at drive time. The other day I actually got mad and honked at a fellow commuter. Now I am not an angry man, but on this date I was upset at a fellow driver that had no idea what was going on around her as she conversed on her cell phone while eating a Big Mac.
As I honked the horn, I heard from the back seat, "Don't hit um Dad". "Dad don't hit um". Now hitting the car in front of me had ever crossed my mind. Communicating my anger to the female driver of the Toyota RAV 4, at her selfish inability to place her foot on the accelerator advancing her position in the normal flow of traffic, placing her vehicle in one lane of travel instead of the two she occupied while lovingly consuming 50 grams of fat in her Big Mac, did. Did I mention the cell phone in her greasy paw?
Now at this point in time I had to explain to my daughter, the appropriate use of the horn. My intentions were not to hit the RAV 4 driven by the woman eating a Big Mac sporting a mullet. I did my best to tell her that driving is a privilege and we should pay attention to what we are doing and be courteous to other drivers. Once in a while Big Mac eating, cell phone blabbing, mullet sporting driver needs to be reminded that there are others on the road.
As I honked the horn, I heard from the back seat, "Don't hit um Dad". "Dad don't hit um". Now hitting the car in front of me had ever crossed my mind. Communicating my anger to the female driver of the Toyota RAV 4, at her selfish inability to place her foot on the accelerator advancing her position in the normal flow of traffic, placing her vehicle in one lane of travel instead of the two she occupied while lovingly consuming 50 grams of fat in her Big Mac, did. Did I mention the cell phone in her greasy paw?
Now at this point in time I had to explain to my daughter, the appropriate use of the horn. My intentions were not to hit the RAV 4 driven by the woman eating a Big Mac sporting a mullet. I did my best to tell her that driving is a privilege and we should pay attention to what we are doing and be courteous to other drivers. Once in a while Big Mac eating, cell phone blabbing, mullet sporting driver needs to be reminded that there are others on the road.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Excuse me, are you dying
Picture this, I am in the kitchen. My wife doubles over in pain. She shakes her hand as if she has broken it. She squirms as if she is going through the worst pain of her life. I consider calling 911. I ask her what's wrong and suddenly she stands up and says, "Sorry, brain freeze!" I guess it is spring because Slurpee season has started.
Mexican Cola and a Warning
The family took a blind taste test this morning and it is official Mexican Coca Cola wins. Sorry, Nebraska. I am sure the corn huskers would like us to think corn sweeteners are just a good as sugar. Kind of like saying, Taco Bell is as good as Red Iguana.
I met a guy on the plane a while ago. He worked for the corn industry. The corn industry is trying to get the Central American soft drink manufactures to use their product. I was just grateful when I cheated off his immigration declaration sheet he did not declare a large amount of cash. Like many of my warnings no one cares.
Remember the deer warning. I have an update. We did have a mountain lion hanging out in the small ravine close to home. My neighbor talked to fish and game officers that were attempting to catch the cat. You never hear about this things until one of these cats, goes after a slow two legged deer running down the road. Talk about an early morning jogging wake up call.
Speaking of wake up calls. I was running in a May 5th, 5k race, with my nephew one year. I heard a very loud clump clump coming up behind me. It got louder and louder very quickly. I was quickly passed by an Ethiopian runner in dress shoes with white socks. He was also dressed in one of the heaviest 1980 sweat suits I had ever seen. I am sure if he had a down parka he would have been wearing it. I picked up my pace, but could not catch him. I guess the moral of the story is, let the mountain lions roam free and maybe we will all become faster runners.
I met a guy on the plane a while ago. He worked for the corn industry. The corn industry is trying to get the Central American soft drink manufactures to use their product. I was just grateful when I cheated off his immigration declaration sheet he did not declare a large amount of cash. Like many of my warnings no one cares.
Remember the deer warning. I have an update. We did have a mountain lion hanging out in the small ravine close to home. My neighbor talked to fish and game officers that were attempting to catch the cat. You never hear about this things until one of these cats, goes after a slow two legged deer running down the road. Talk about an early morning jogging wake up call.
Speaking of wake up calls. I was running in a May 5th, 5k race, with my nephew one year. I heard a very loud clump clump coming up behind me. It got louder and louder very quickly. I was quickly passed by an Ethiopian runner in dress shoes with white socks. He was also dressed in one of the heaviest 1980 sweat suits I had ever seen. I am sure if he had a down parka he would have been wearing it. I picked up my pace, but could not catch him. I guess the moral of the story is, let the mountain lions roam free and maybe we will all become faster runners.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Who Told the Press???
I would like to refer you to my March 8, 2008 blog. I would also like to refer you to April 2, 2008, Salt Lake Tribune front page of the Living section. http://www.sltrib.com/food_ci_8774149?source=rv
I just want to know which of you told my secret to them? Who has actually been there?
I just want to know which of you told my secret to them? Who has actually been there?
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thank you Costco! I found Coca-Cola made with real sugar there this weekend, imported from Mexico. It is twice as expensive as the high fructose corn syrup coke. My wife wondered if I could tell the difference. I will let you know the results when I can actually find US Coca-Cola in a glass bottle. I know that when I'm South of the Border it seems to taste so much better.
Speaking of Mexico, my friend's mother went to Cancun and made the comment that the people in Mexico just don't know how to make good Mexican food like they do in the states.
Speaking of Mexico, my friend's mother went to Cancun and made the comment that the people in Mexico just don't know how to make good Mexican food like they do in the states.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday Morning Drive Time
Rookie mistake. Monday morning mistake. I will be paying for a month or so. It could happen to anyone. Any one who does not put the right CD back in its case. So what happened?
Well, the oldest asked to change the princess CD to a Mickey Mouse CD in the car. I was so excited. I have heard princess music for months. I have listened to it so much that I catch myself humming it around the house. I actually sang it out loud in the office once. The guy down stairs still laughs about it. Luckily he has a daughter similar in age, so he was somewhat understanding.
I showed her the CD case, she agreed it was the one she wanted. I pulled the CD out of it's case and placed it into the CD player, walked in to get the house to retrieve her sister. I came out only to hear, "Whose got a beard that is long and white?" Wrong CD. Now I'll be listening to Christmas music for months. The wife has asked if I want to hang Christmas stockings? At least for the next week, I am a head of her on the NCAA basketball brackets.
Well, the oldest asked to change the princess CD to a Mickey Mouse CD in the car. I was so excited. I have heard princess music for months. I have listened to it so much that I catch myself humming it around the house. I actually sang it out loud in the office once. The guy down stairs still laughs about it. Luckily he has a daughter similar in age, so he was somewhat understanding.
I showed her the CD case, she agreed it was the one she wanted. I pulled the CD out of it's case and placed it into the CD player, walked in to get the house to retrieve her sister. I came out only to hear, "Whose got a beard that is long and white?" Wrong CD. Now I'll be listening to Christmas music for months. The wife has asked if I want to hang Christmas stockings? At least for the next week, I am a head of her on the NCAA basketball brackets.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The Easter Bunny
Have you heard the news?
Well the Easter Bunny came to our house during the night and my girls are thrilled. New books, coloring books, bubbles, trinkets and of course candy. Standing in the middle of the floor my oldest proclaimed to the sky, "thanks Easter Bunny". Abby was even impressed with the dog treats.
We are off to both Grammies today, breakfast at one and an egg hunt and dinner at the other. Hopefully, there will be a nap in between.
The Garage looks great, and my Easter basket is full. As for the news -- after just 3 days my wife has conceded, her brackets sucked.
Well the Easter Bunny came to our house during the night and my girls are thrilled. New books, coloring books, bubbles, trinkets and of course candy. Standing in the middle of the floor my oldest proclaimed to the sky, "thanks Easter Bunny". Abby was even impressed with the dog treats.
We are off to both Grammies today, breakfast at one and an egg hunt and dinner at the other. Hopefully, there will be a nap in between.
The Garage looks great, and my Easter basket is full. As for the news -- after just 3 days my wife has conceded, her brackets sucked.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Random Spring Thoughts
I would personally like to thank the moon, sun, stars and earth for moving in spring positions. You guys rock. WELCOME SPRING! It is official our days are now longer than nights!
I am not sure why, but apparently the Easter Bunny does not come to our house until the garage is clean. So spring cleaning has begun. Little Kelli came over today to play with the girls while my wife and I cleaned. It still has to much stuff in it, but the dirt is gone from the garage and has transported itself to my nose and eyes. I am sure spring pollen is not far behind.
As we cleaned, our neighbor came over to tell us she found out we are moving. She was very sad. As we talked, she informed us that at her house the Easter Bunny is a pagan symbol and they don't believe in him or her. I informed her I still believed and the Bunny would not come unless the garage was cleaned. She needs to learn lessons in motivation from my wife. I am sure her boys would do just about anything for Easter candy.
As she pulled out of the driveway, I smiled to myself. Her boys, like myself, still believe in Santa Clause. Each year their Santa uses our house as a holding station for her boys toys. I wonder if the new owners of our home will be Pagans or allow Santa to use the home as a holding station. For the young ones out there, some times Santa will send gifts ahead of time to neighbors homes so on Christmas Eve, his sleigh is a bit lighter.
For those who care I have picked more games correctly then my wife, at this time.
I am not sure why, but apparently the Easter Bunny does not come to our house until the garage is clean. So spring cleaning has begun. Little Kelli came over today to play with the girls while my wife and I cleaned. It still has to much stuff in it, but the dirt is gone from the garage and has transported itself to my nose and eyes. I am sure spring pollen is not far behind.
As we cleaned, our neighbor came over to tell us she found out we are moving. She was very sad. As we talked, she informed us that at her house the Easter Bunny is a pagan symbol and they don't believe in him or her. I informed her I still believed and the Bunny would not come unless the garage was cleaned. She needs to learn lessons in motivation from my wife. I am sure her boys would do just about anything for Easter candy.
As she pulled out of the driveway, I smiled to myself. Her boys, like myself, still believe in Santa Clause. Each year their Santa uses our house as a holding station for her boys toys. I wonder if the new owners of our home will be Pagans or allow Santa to use the home as a holding station. For the young ones out there, some times Santa will send gifts ahead of time to neighbors homes so on Christmas Eve, his sleigh is a bit lighter.
For those who care I have picked more games correctly then my wife, at this time.
Friday, March 21, 2008
It is the most wonderful time of the year!
As I am sipping my first cup of sin, I have a prediction. Sometime today I will hear, "It is not BYU's fault they lost. They should have been a higher seed." True meaning of this statement, they needed to play a worse team to stop the six early exits from the NCAA tournament.
For those who care, I am up one on my wife on the brackets and have bragging rights (at least for the morning.)
For those who care, I am up one on my wife on the brackets and have bragging rights (at least for the morning.)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The most wonderful time of the year!
Welcome to my favorite weekend of the YEAR! It is better than Christmas, New Years, Fourth of July or the Fifth of May. When I was younger I would watch the regular college basketball season just to find out who might be the upset team of the tournament or who could win it all. When I was in school I would skip class to watch all the games. I even skipped classes in high school to attend the tournament locally. I sat on the very last row of the Huntsman Center just to be there.
Being at an NCAA sight is awesome. If you have not gone to a tournament game you really should attend. There is nothing like watching a low seed defeat a high seed. The arena goes crazy.
Today, I listened to the radio as much as I could and checked the Internet as often as possible. The games are on in the other room and I sneak away from the family to get scores. The great thing is, I catch my wife doing the same thing. She has the fever too.
I shared this passion with a school roommate who worked at a sports book in Reno before graduate school. I learned a lot about sports gambling from him. Every year during this weekend I am pretty sure he is watching the games. I know like me he has obligations that we did not have in school. I have lost touch with him over the years, but I am sure if he is watching them.
If you have never put life on hold to watch the do or die passion of March, I suggest you try it. You just need a good refrigerator and a few coolers for drinks and food. The number to every fast food delivery place in your neighborhood is also helpful. The most important thing to have .. a great chair or couch. Fill out your bracket, sit back, relax and enjoy!
Being at an NCAA sight is awesome. If you have not gone to a tournament game you really should attend. There is nothing like watching a low seed defeat a high seed. The arena goes crazy.
Today, I listened to the radio as much as I could and checked the Internet as often as possible. The games are on in the other room and I sneak away from the family to get scores. The great thing is, I catch my wife doing the same thing. She has the fever too.
I shared this passion with a school roommate who worked at a sports book in Reno before graduate school. I learned a lot about sports gambling from him. Every year during this weekend I am pretty sure he is watching the games. I know like me he has obligations that we did not have in school. I have lost touch with him over the years, but I am sure if he is watching them.
If you have never put life on hold to watch the do or die passion of March, I suggest you try it. You just need a good refrigerator and a few coolers for drinks and food. The number to every fast food delivery place in your neighborhood is also helpful. The most important thing to have .. a great chair or couch. Fill out your bracket, sit back, relax and enjoy!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
A place to eat .. and get new tires??
I feel like I need to share a little piece of Tijuana heaven right here in Salt Lake City. In the spirit of one of my favorite TV shows: Diners Drive Ins and Dives, I have to recommend Victor's Restaurant located partially in Victor's Tires. (1406 South 700 West, Salt Lake City, UT)
You know how when you're in Mexico, you feel like you're in Mexico. Well this has all the necessary attribute: Music; soccer schedules; flyers for mariachi band night; flyers for bull-fights; and real coke. Testosterone flows through out the place.
Inside this bastion of manhood is a restaurant. Do you long for a real Mexican Coke, made from real sugar. Do you long for 13 different types of tamales, including coconut, pineapple or strawberry? Do you long for just a little something different? Well next time you're on the west side of I-15 around 1400 south, make a run for the boarder. I would recommend taking a Spanish interpreter with you when you order your rims, but for the food. . . a gringo should do fine.
http://www.victorstires.net/links.html
http://www.victorstires.net/menu1.pdf
http://www.victorstires.net/menu2.pdf
You know how when you're in Mexico, you feel like you're in Mexico. Well this has all the necessary attribute: Music; soccer schedules; flyers for mariachi band night; flyers for bull-fights; and real coke. Testosterone flows through out the place.
Inside this bastion of manhood is a restaurant. Do you long for a real Mexican Coke, made from real sugar. Do you long for 13 different types of tamales, including coconut, pineapple or strawberry? Do you long for just a little something different? Well next time you're on the west side of I-15 around 1400 south, make a run for the boarder. I would recommend taking a Spanish interpreter with you when you order your rims, but for the food. . . a gringo should do fine.
http://www.victorstires.net/links.html
http://www.victorstires.net/menu1.pdf
http://www.victorstires.net/menu2.pdf
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Easter candy
I love Easter for many reasons , the most important of course is Easter itself, but here are a few other...
1) It's a sign that warm weather is coming
2) My girls look cute in their new Easter dresses,
3) Peeps, Peeps and more Peeps
4) Reese's Peanut butter eggs
50 Hershey's chocolate Easter eggs
6) Fernwood's A lmondette's
I could go on and on...Easter candy is the BEST! Better than any other holiday candy!
However, I feel sorry for those of you that were not raised in a grocery store with a huge penny candy selection. I always loved going to my Grandpa's store. ( I will write more on that one day. ) My favorite candy as child was a licorice whips with cream filling. What is your favorite Easter or penny candy?
1) It's a sign that warm weather is coming
2) My girls look cute in their new Easter dresses,
3) Peeps, Peeps and more Peeps
4) Reese's Peanut butter eggs
50 Hershey's chocolate Easter eggs
6) Fernwood's A lmondette's
I could go on and on...Easter candy is the BEST! Better than any other holiday candy!
However, I feel sorry for those of you that were not raised in a grocery store with a huge penny candy selection. I always loved going to my Grandpa's store. ( I will write more on that one day. ) My favorite candy as child was a licorice whips with cream filling. What is your favorite Easter or penny candy?
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Drive Time
Driving with small children can be a challenge. It also has its rewards. My favorite time is when my three year old is into chatting with the old man. Our conversations can be very entertaining. They can also cause a bit of a panic.
My daughter asked me this week me a question that caused panic, anxiety and exhilaration, "Daddy will you send me to College." Now she is three. She has not even applied to preschool. I had no idea where that idea came from. She has several cousins in college. Two are away at school. But I am not sure she even understands where they are.
So I quizzed her about college, she seem to know that you go away and learn things.
Two thoughts entered my mind simultaneously. You're to young for College and how to pay for it. Both seem to immobilize my mind, like being hit upside the head unexpectedly by a bat. After a few quick calculations, I realized I have 15 years to prepare for her going to College. I am so not ready.
My daughter asked me this week me a question that caused panic, anxiety and exhilaration, "Daddy will you send me to College." Now she is three. She has not even applied to preschool. I had no idea where that idea came from. She has several cousins in college. Two are away at school. But I am not sure she even understands where they are.
So I quizzed her about college, she seem to know that you go away and learn things.
Two thoughts entered my mind simultaneously. You're to young for College and how to pay for it. Both seem to immobilize my mind, like being hit upside the head unexpectedly by a bat. After a few quick calculations, I realized I have 15 years to prepare for her going to College. I am so not ready.
Friday, February 29, 2008
The Four Yorkshiremen Sketch
Comedy is different for everyone. Can you name these 4 actors? Their names appear at the end.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Power of a Dress ....
Yesterday as we walked from the store my daughter jumped in every puddle she saw. It was not until I lifted her in the car, I saw the mud all over the bottom of her pink sweat pants and tennis shoes. She did not care at all about getting wet and muddy. It was my wife that actually cared.
Today was a different story. My daughters were transformed into proper well-behaved (well, sort of) princesses just by slipping on dress. Both of my girls had on matching dresses, white sweaters, white tights and black patent leather shoes for church. Their moods were transformed. Ella danced around the house twirling and dancing about. She had to show every person she knew her beautiful dress. (Total credit goes to my wife for their daily outfits.) Later as we walked to the car, Ella had to be carried over every puddle. She would not go near one for fear of messing up her precious dress.
I reflected on the power of a dress. I thought about the many times in the future when my daughters will be transformed by a dress. The special days that will be marked by a dress. I remember several times a dress has been the marker for change in the lives of woman around me. My wife on our wedding day. My niece on hers. I remember the look on my bother in-laws face the day my niece was married. I got a tear in my eye and immediately had to stop thinking about the power of a dress.
Today was a different story. My daughters were transformed into proper well-behaved (well, sort of) princesses just by slipping on dress. Both of my girls had on matching dresses, white sweaters, white tights and black patent leather shoes for church. Their moods were transformed. Ella danced around the house twirling and dancing about. She had to show every person she knew her beautiful dress. (Total credit goes to my wife for their daily outfits.) Later as we walked to the car, Ella had to be carried over every puddle. She would not go near one for fear of messing up her precious dress.
I reflected on the power of a dress. I thought about the many times in the future when my daughters will be transformed by a dress. The special days that will be marked by a dress. I remember several times a dress has been the marker for change in the lives of woman around me. My wife on our wedding day. My niece on hers. I remember the look on my bother in-laws face the day my niece was married. I got a tear in my eye and immediately had to stop thinking about the power of a dress.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Hot Boots!
I have yet to figure out how to load a video.
So here is a link. It is just a fashion commercial. I am sure it will not make the "Whatever Dee-Dee wants" list, but I thought it was funny.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=PrcHhx7JmhE&feature=related
I have no idea how I found that video. I was actually searching for a local radio host Hans Olsen singing a man crush song. A word I was unfamiliar with. Based upon his song I had wished I had never actually heard the word. I came across his co-host blog and that lead to some Tom Brady Man Crush video. I really wish sport radio in Utah would stick to sports.
So here is a link. It is just a fashion commercial. I am sure it will not make the "Whatever Dee-Dee wants" list, but I thought it was funny.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=PrcHhx7JmhE&feature=related
I have no idea how I found that video. I was actually searching for a local radio host Hans Olsen singing a man crush song. A word I was unfamiliar with. Based upon his song I had wished I had never actually heard the word. I came across his co-host blog and that lead to some Tom Brady Man Crush video. I really wish sport radio in Utah would stick to sports.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I have a dream!!!!
I have a dream, envision with me!
A weekend of Golf and March Madness.
You combine several days of a friendly golf tournament with the opening week of March Madness. I know it sounds to good to be true. Just take a few deep breaths and try to imagine it. Sunny fairways. First round upsets. True putting greens. All you can eat buffets.
Think of the year long bragging rights. Think of wearing home your green jacket on Sunday with the pockets filled with the cash of your friends. Your the number one bracket winner and golfer. Think of the glory. Think of the selfish fun you would have. It would be as close as a hack like me could get to winning the Masters.
Golfing significant others would always be welcome.
Just a thought on a snow day.
A weekend of Golf and March Madness.
You combine several days of a friendly golf tournament with the opening week of March Madness. I know it sounds to good to be true. Just take a few deep breaths and try to imagine it. Sunny fairways. First round upsets. True putting greens. All you can eat buffets.
Think of the year long bragging rights. Think of wearing home your green jacket on Sunday with the pockets filled with the cash of your friends. Your the number one bracket winner and golfer. Think of the glory. Think of the selfish fun you would have. It would be as close as a hack like me could get to winning the Masters.
Golfing significant others would always be welcome.
Just a thought on a snow day.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
A manly post
I feel like with all the potty, cooking and musical stories I need to write a manly post. So I thought I would write about my wife.
Well not really about her being manly, although she can name all the positions of an offensive and defensive line. The fact they actually had names for the positions was lost on the men at the super bowl party, I attended. While her knowledge of football is manly, that's not what I wanted to write about.
I want to write about her obsession with poop. Dog poop to be exact. She is totally obsessed with it. As some of you know we have a large dog that poops twice a day. Thus, with all the snow, there are a lot of droppings in the yard waiting to be picked up. She watches the news to see what the temperature will be to gauge the melt time for precise extraction. I have even caught her looking out the window to see if there are any emerging nuggets. She gets more excited over them then a Vegas jackpot. She gears up with her Sorrel boots, gloves, shovel and several Smith's plastic bags and has at it.
I have no idea why she obsesses over it. I have tried to pin it on my mother-in-law or her sisters but I am not sure any of them really care about shit. I don't even think my family knows shit like my wife. Today she announced one side of the yard is doo-doo free and she was thrilled!
I am happy she gets so excited over picking after Abby. Thanks to Abby, there are plenty of little pleasures left outside, twice daily. All I can say is my wife not only a good sport, but she is the *$#@ too.
Well not really about her being manly, although she can name all the positions of an offensive and defensive line. The fact they actually had names for the positions was lost on the men at the super bowl party, I attended. While her knowledge of football is manly, that's not what I wanted to write about.
I want to write about her obsession with poop. Dog poop to be exact. She is totally obsessed with it. As some of you know we have a large dog that poops twice a day. Thus, with all the snow, there are a lot of droppings in the yard waiting to be picked up. She watches the news to see what the temperature will be to gauge the melt time for precise extraction. I have even caught her looking out the window to see if there are any emerging nuggets. She gets more excited over them then a Vegas jackpot. She gears up with her Sorrel boots, gloves, shovel and several Smith's plastic bags and has at it.
I have no idea why she obsesses over it. I have tried to pin it on my mother-in-law or her sisters but I am not sure any of them really care about shit. I don't even think my family knows shit like my wife. Today she announced one side of the yard is doo-doo free and she was thrilled!
I am happy she gets so excited over picking after Abby. Thanks to Abby, there are plenty of little pleasures left outside, twice daily. All I can say is my wife not only a good sport, but she is the *$#@ too.
Damn, Damn, Damn
Once in a while when the kids need to be mellow we have movie night. Usually it is some Disney flick, but we've found that musicals are usually a big hit too. So, when I saw My Fair Lady in the discount bin at the store, I picked it up. It has been up on the self for a while and the other night we decided to watch it.
I am not sure if you have seen it or not. There is a part when Henry Higgins discovers he is in love with Eliza, and not happy with the fact he proclaims, Damn, Damn, Damn, I have grown accustomed to her face. Then he breaks into the song, Accustom to Her Face. Well, we forgot about that part and didn't really think much about it until Ella broke out and did her own rendition of Damn, Damn, Damn. Oops! I turned looked at my wife, we both quietly laughed and said nothing, hoping to not draw attention to it. Later, when the kids were asleep we mentioned we might need to the day care provider.
The next day my daughter and I hit Costco for some family provisions and a gift for Grandpa. We were looking at watches and she broke into song from the show. Daddy, "Show Me". I thought it was pretty cute that she picked up on the words so fast until we were in the CD aisle and I did not get the toddler music CD, yep you guessed it: Damn, Damn, Damn - Dad. I was fine with it, but the looks I got from everyone else in the CD isle were amazing. You would think they had never seen a young lady swear before.
I am not sure if you have seen it or not. There is a part when Henry Higgins discovers he is in love with Eliza, and not happy with the fact he proclaims, Damn, Damn, Damn, I have grown accustomed to her face. Then he breaks into the song, Accustom to Her Face. Well, we forgot about that part and didn't really think much about it until Ella broke out and did her own rendition of Damn, Damn, Damn. Oops! I turned looked at my wife, we both quietly laughed and said nothing, hoping to not draw attention to it. Later, when the kids were asleep we mentioned we might need to the day care provider.
The next day my daughter and I hit Costco for some family provisions and a gift for Grandpa. We were looking at watches and she broke into song from the show. Daddy, "Show Me". I thought it was pretty cute that she picked up on the words so fast until we were in the CD aisle and I did not get the toddler music CD, yep you guessed it: Damn, Damn, Damn - Dad. I was fine with it, but the looks I got from everyone else in the CD isle were amazing. You would think they had never seen a young lady swear before.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Bambi?
I am taking my Brother in Laws lead and writing about something I HATE! There was this one time, a long time ago, I liked deer. Not any more!
We have a lot of them in the back two acre field behind our house. By a lot I mean more then 30 less then 100. I have been unable to obtain permission to tag them with a paint ball gun to take an accurate count. Of course we live in the middle of a city too. We have several large males that would look awesome mounted in the neighbors garage. Half or more are pregnant. Their grow rate is competing with Utah County.
Why do I hate them. I garden. I grow such things as corn, peas, squash, tomatoes, carrots, beats, potatoes, radishes, cucumbers, pumpkins, grapes, strawberries, basil, peaches and a Simon and Garfunkel spice rack. The first year the entire crop was devastated by deer. I hate being the pantry for the local heard. Year after year I have struggle to keep my crop. I must say after years of practice I am getting better.
There is absolutely nothing like a fresh picked tomato still warm from the garden with a little salt. There is nothing like watching them grow and planning on picking them tomorrow and the next day finding your tomato on the ground with one big deer bite out of it.
I have called the fish and game and asked them to replace my garden. They said they would send someone out and write me a check. Unlike comcast, he never showed. Even after a 10 hour wait and a few follow up calls.
I have learned it is illegal to allow my dog to chase them. I have also learned running after them with a javelin shovel might just also be considered illegal. Rocks on the other hand seem to get them moving. I think I am the only one that really understands this problem. Give them a few more generations of living close to humans and we are asking for new version of a dogs playing poker velvet wall hanging. They will be stealing cigarettes, beer and cards from the local quicky market and playing poker right in the middle of your back yard. The young ones will be turning over trash cans and running a muck. Not to mention the ticks, fleas, flies and other insects they will bring. I am talking biblical problems here.
Nothing will drive them away. Believe me I have tried everything. Human hair. Thank you Great Clips, but it did not help. The cougar and coyote urine really does stink. It bothered Abby, but not the deer. All the other western garden products, were a waste of time and money. I have even asked a Buddhist monk and a LDS bishop for advice on a higher plan. Buddhist seem to think we all deserve food from the garden. The Bishop hand book did not contain a garden blessing. Oh and to my wife's co-worker, a stinky baby diaper barred in the ground is just gross. I am already chastised around the house for using compost. For those of you that don't know what compost is .. ask my wife or the neighbors.
Even the mountain lion that wintered over under my neighbor's deck did not help. Seems the deer were to healthy for the young lion, who feed on small dogs and cats instead. I have even watched as the neighbors sheep dog attempted to round them up into on coming traffic. I gave that dog a few dog treats. Like the rats of old these new urban pest need to be dealt with. I am open for an old fashion bunny bop. Hey, PETA fans who are disgusted with this post and the last line. Just remember, they will eat you out of your organic gardens one day. Then what?
I am open to suggestions. These beasts need to be dealt with!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD5zjUbWpXY&feature=related
We have a lot of them in the back two acre field behind our house. By a lot I mean more then 30 less then 100. I have been unable to obtain permission to tag them with a paint ball gun to take an accurate count. Of course we live in the middle of a city too. We have several large males that would look awesome mounted in the neighbors garage. Half or more are pregnant. Their grow rate is competing with Utah County.
Why do I hate them. I garden. I grow such things as corn, peas, squash, tomatoes, carrots, beats, potatoes, radishes, cucumbers, pumpkins, grapes, strawberries, basil, peaches and a Simon and Garfunkel spice rack. The first year the entire crop was devastated by deer. I hate being the pantry for the local heard. Year after year I have struggle to keep my crop. I must say after years of practice I am getting better.
There is absolutely nothing like a fresh picked tomato still warm from the garden with a little salt. There is nothing like watching them grow and planning on picking them tomorrow and the next day finding your tomato on the ground with one big deer bite out of it.
I have called the fish and game and asked them to replace my garden. They said they would send someone out and write me a check. Unlike comcast, he never showed. Even after a 10 hour wait and a few follow up calls.
I have learned it is illegal to allow my dog to chase them. I have also learned running after them with a javelin shovel might just also be considered illegal. Rocks on the other hand seem to get them moving. I think I am the only one that really understands this problem. Give them a few more generations of living close to humans and we are asking for new version of a dogs playing poker velvet wall hanging. They will be stealing cigarettes, beer and cards from the local quicky market and playing poker right in the middle of your back yard. The young ones will be turning over trash cans and running a muck. Not to mention the ticks, fleas, flies and other insects they will bring. I am talking biblical problems here.
Nothing will drive them away. Believe me I have tried everything. Human hair. Thank you Great Clips, but it did not help. The cougar and coyote urine really does stink. It bothered Abby, but not the deer. All the other western garden products, were a waste of time and money. I have even asked a Buddhist monk and a LDS bishop for advice on a higher plan. Buddhist seem to think we all deserve food from the garden. The Bishop hand book did not contain a garden blessing. Oh and to my wife's co-worker, a stinky baby diaper barred in the ground is just gross. I am already chastised around the house for using compost. For those of you that don't know what compost is .. ask my wife or the neighbors.
Even the mountain lion that wintered over under my neighbor's deck did not help. Seems the deer were to healthy for the young lion, who feed on small dogs and cats instead. I have even watched as the neighbors sheep dog attempted to round them up into on coming traffic. I gave that dog a few dog treats. Like the rats of old these new urban pest need to be dealt with. I am open for an old fashion bunny bop. Hey, PETA fans who are disgusted with this post and the last line. Just remember, they will eat you out of your organic gardens one day. Then what?
I am open to suggestions. These beasts need to be dealt with!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD5zjUbWpXY&feature=related
Friday, February 15, 2008
I think I need to write a little bit about the oldest child, Abby. She has been with us since shortly after we purchased our house. She is our social connection to the neighborhood. Everyone knows the black lab with the purple collar. If any one gives me a puzzled look as to where I live, I just say I am the one with the black lab and every one knows the house. She was once mistaken for a lab with a red collar which was running wild in the neighborhood. The person was quickly corrected by a neighbor. Abby does not run wild in the neighborhood. She was actually a little mad that the person suggested Abby could do such a thing.
When we first moved, a close neighbor's son came over and asked to play with Abby. He has been coming over ever since. On more then one occiasion he has sneaked out in only his BVDs to throw the ball for her when I have been out working in the yard.
Kids actually will come ring the door bell and ask to play with Abby. Sometimes I think their parents get mad at them and send them our way. I never quite know how to react to it. I think kids need good dog experiences so I have only refused once. It was after ten at night.
Abby has even been invited on walks by adult neighbors ... without us. I had no idea how to react to that. " Excuse me, can I take Abby for a walk with me. I just want some company." I wonder why they don't invite us, if they invite us on a walk, the Abby will come too. I mean what do you say to that?? No thanks, Abby only likes to walk with us. Your arms look a little weak she might pull you over? Abbys walk insurance has lapsed when we get it renewed we will call you?
I guess when you have a great dog, everyone wants to get in on it!
When we first moved, a close neighbor's son came over and asked to play with Abby. He has been coming over ever since. On more then one occiasion he has sneaked out in only his BVDs to throw the ball for her when I have been out working in the yard.
Kids actually will come ring the door bell and ask to play with Abby. Sometimes I think their parents get mad at them and send them our way. I never quite know how to react to it. I think kids need good dog experiences so I have only refused once. It was after ten at night.
Abby has even been invited on walks by adult neighbors ... without us. I had no idea how to react to that. " Excuse me, can I take Abby for a walk with me. I just want some company." I wonder why they don't invite us, if they invite us on a walk, the Abby will come too. I mean what do you say to that?? No thanks, Abby only likes to walk with us. Your arms look a little weak she might pull you over? Abbys walk insurance has lapsed when we get it renewed we will call you?
I guess when you have a great dog, everyone wants to get in on it!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Do Good Fences Make Good Neighbors?
Do Good Fences Make Good Neighbors?
I have to say, our neighbors have some interesting house guests Like this one time they had someone watch their house while they were out of town. I went walking along the side yard to find her topless and in a thong sun bathing.
Or, there was this other time that this woman knocks on our door and asks me to tie her shoes. Apparently she had just had major back surgery but wanted to go for a walk through our hilly neighborhood. She was sneaking out while the neighbor was running errands. She started off walking at a snails pace asked me if i could check on her if I didn't hear back from her in an hour. An hour goes by and nothing so we jump in the car and find her about a half block away...we had to load her in the back of the car, and she could only lay flat. It was crazy. Seriously, you go ask some random man to tie your shoes and check up on you.
Another house guest asked if she could take some basil from our garden, because it did not look like we were going to use all of it. We said yes, thinking she's take a sprig or two... She cut down 3 full bushes of if it for pesto.
I have to say, our neighbors have some interesting house guests Like this one time they had someone watch their house while they were out of town. I went walking along the side yard to find her topless and in a thong sun bathing.
Or, there was this other time that this woman knocks on our door and asks me to tie her shoes. Apparently she had just had major back surgery but wanted to go for a walk through our hilly neighborhood. She was sneaking out while the neighbor was running errands. She started off walking at a snails pace asked me if i could check on her if I didn't hear back from her in an hour. An hour goes by and nothing so we jump in the car and find her about a half block away...we had to load her in the back of the car, and she could only lay flat. It was crazy. Seriously, you go ask some random man to tie your shoes and check up on you.
Another house guest asked if she could take some basil from our garden, because it did not look like we were going to use all of it. We said yes, thinking she's take a sprig or two... She cut down 3 full bushes of if it for pesto.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Fire, noise, smoke and flying food
One more email to my wife when she was out of town ...
Last night was somewhat comical. I started fish sticks in the oven. The package says 475, at about 400 the oven starts to smoke from whatever you spilled in it over Christmas. Picture this: Leah is asleep on the couch, she did not wake up from coming inside, so she is still in he coat and on her blanket. Next to her is Ella. She is tired and just watching TV I am get dinner ready.
The Smoke alarms went off! The smoke alarm does not wake Leah. What wakes her is me running around opening the doors to get the smoke out of the house. She gave me a funny look, like it is cold what the hell are you doing Dad, can't you see I am sleeping?
I turned the oven off and stuck a thermometer in the fish sticks .. figuring once they get to 175 the would be ok to eat. I finished dinner with the kids. Rob and Lisa came over with Thomas. Rob played with Abby as I did the drive way. After they left, I asked if she still wants to marry Thomas, she said no Beck. It made me smile.
On a side note. I have to say, any time you can involve fire, noise, and flying food you have a winning dinner combination for a one and a half year old. (no, I didn't make fish sticks again, we went to Tepanyaki)
And a cry for help ...
How do I post a video from youtube?
Last night was somewhat comical. I started fish sticks in the oven. The package says 475, at about 400 the oven starts to smoke from whatever you spilled in it over Christmas. Picture this: Leah is asleep on the couch, she did not wake up from coming inside, so she is still in he coat and on her blanket. Next to her is Ella. She is tired and just watching TV I am get dinner ready.
The Smoke alarms went off! The smoke alarm does not wake Leah. What wakes her is me running around opening the doors to get the smoke out of the house. She gave me a funny look, like it is cold what the hell are you doing Dad, can't you see I am sleeping?
I turned the oven off and stuck a thermometer in the fish sticks .. figuring once they get to 175 the would be ok to eat. I finished dinner with the kids. Rob and Lisa came over with Thomas. Rob played with Abby as I did the drive way. After they left, I asked if she still wants to marry Thomas, she said no Beck. It made me smile.
On a side note. I have to say, any time you can involve fire, noise, and flying food you have a winning dinner combination for a one and a half year old. (no, I didn't make fish sticks again, we went to Tepanyaki)
And a cry for help ...
How do I post a video from youtube?
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Something will always happen...
An excerpt from an email to my wife when she was out of town ...
I walked into a house today and it was 50 degrees. The first thought was did we pay the gas bill? I have lived in a few places where paying the bill was the issue as to why something did not work. Water?
Anyway, the thermostat had a battery low warning. I set the kids down and went about figuring how to replace it. As I was fixing thermostat the smoke detector started chirping--the one on the 14 foot ceiling. I have been afraid of heights since the time my Grandmother fell off a ladder putting up Christmas lights at their old store. I remember watching helpless as she fell. Then, looking at her foot that was pointing the exact opposite way, then running into the store to tell my Grandpa. Then the hours spent at LDS hospital. Then the walker and crutches. As I took out the 12 foot ladder from the garage I wondered if it would traumatize my kids like my grandmas fall did me, if I fell. I was very careful. I replaced all the batteries in the smoke detectors and got the girls dinner. As I took the dog out my nephew and his friend drove up and asked how I was doing without my wife. I said just fine.
I should thank those that helped out when my wife was out of town a lot last month. Rob, Lisa, Joni and Stella. Kelly I am still waiting for you to pay up!!!!
I walked into a house today and it was 50 degrees. The first thought was did we pay the gas bill? I have lived in a few places where paying the bill was the issue as to why something did not work. Water?
Anyway, the thermostat had a battery low warning. I set the kids down and went about figuring how to replace it. As I was fixing thermostat the smoke detector started chirping--the one on the 14 foot ceiling. I have been afraid of heights since the time my Grandmother fell off a ladder putting up Christmas lights at their old store. I remember watching helpless as she fell. Then, looking at her foot that was pointing the exact opposite way, then running into the store to tell my Grandpa. Then the hours spent at LDS hospital. Then the walker and crutches. As I took out the 12 foot ladder from the garage I wondered if it would traumatize my kids like my grandmas fall did me, if I fell. I was very careful. I replaced all the batteries in the smoke detectors and got the girls dinner. As I took the dog out my nephew and his friend drove up and asked how I was doing without my wife. I said just fine.
I should thank those that helped out when my wife was out of town a lot last month. Rob, Lisa, Joni and Stella. Kelly I am still waiting for you to pay up!!!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Perceptions
Stella
Happy Belated Birthday Stella. Sorry you Pats lost. When you package comes you will do chinese again.
Who has perception problems
My wife and I just have a perception problems.
My wife and I were sitting at a table at Red Rock and I kept staring at a drunken
lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
Yes," I sighed. "She was my old girlfriend. I understand she started to drinking right after we split up many years ago, and I hear she has not been sober since."
"Wow!" said my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
Sigh
Oh Eli
Thank you Eli and the NY Giants!!!! I really wanted you to win!!
http://drunkathlete.com/2007/01/16/elis-living-on-a-prayer.aspx
I love drunkathlete.com
I am still wondering how the Fans on Grandma's couch viewed the game?
Happy Belated Birthday Stella. Sorry you Pats lost. When you package comes you will do chinese again.
Who has perception problems
My wife and I just have a perception problems.
My wife and I were sitting at a table at Red Rock and I kept staring at a drunken
lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
Yes," I sighed. "She was my old girlfriend. I understand she started to drinking right after we split up many years ago, and I hear she has not been sober since."
"Wow!" said my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
Sigh
Oh Eli
Thank you Eli and the NY Giants!!!! I really wanted you to win!!
http://drunkathlete.com/2007/01/16/elis-living-on-a-prayer.aspx
I love drunkathlete.com
I am still wondering how the Fans on Grandma's couch viewed the game?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Ice Skating
As an older parent I have one thing to say. I really need to get in shape. I went ice skating with my daughter the other night. After 800 milligrams of ibuprofen my lower back and feet are still soar, but it was so worth it. The Bountiful ice rink opened years ago, but has totally been remodeled. My skating skills however have not been remodeled. Like riding a bike it did come back, but the old skating muscles have not been used in ages.
The whole experience was smiles and giggles. My smile muscles are still sore too. I can't describe the wonder and delight of the experience. As we were putting the skates back and she tried to lick the ice from the blades of her skates, she whispered in my ear...Daddy, can we go skiing soon.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Public Potty Terror
I decided while my wife was out of town I would take my girls to dinner and shopping at the mall. I have a three year old and a one year old.
I let the 3 year old decide what we were going to eat for dinner. So we had mall sushi, rice, and noodles. I'm always amazed that my girls will eat sushi, especially sushi wrapped in seaweed. I consider seaweed a vegetable. During dinner my daughter uttered the words I have feared hearing in a public place every since she became potty trained. “Daddy, potty.”
Panic set in. After seconds of utter terror, I surveyed the situation quickly. Not wanting to cause my own Amber Alter, I picked up the youngest dripping with sea weed and off to find a place to "potty".
Public restrooms can be a festering peltry dish of terror for someone like me. However, when your oldest daughter is dancing around like the ground is on fire there is not time to worry about the types of microbial invaders which are waiting to attack.
I have never been so thankful to find a bathroom empty, with a huge handicap stall. I always feel funny about using the handicap stall, but today I did not care. I opened the door, looked around - clean enough and now the real dilemma.
Help a 3 year old go potty while you are holding a 1 year old away from the potty. I sat the one year old down. Balancing on one foot I blocked her way from putting her hands in the potty with my leg. I must say the acrobatics displayed were envious of any Chevy Chase Saturday Night Live skit.
As I washed 3 sets of hands. I had some flash forward thoughts of other words I will dread. Daddy can you buy me some feminine products.
I let the 3 year old decide what we were going to eat for dinner. So we had mall sushi, rice, and noodles. I'm always amazed that my girls will eat sushi, especially sushi wrapped in seaweed. I consider seaweed a vegetable. During dinner my daughter uttered the words I have feared hearing in a public place every since she became potty trained. “Daddy, potty.”
Panic set in. After seconds of utter terror, I surveyed the situation quickly. Not wanting to cause my own Amber Alter, I picked up the youngest dripping with sea weed and off to find a place to "potty".
Public restrooms can be a festering peltry dish of terror for someone like me. However, when your oldest daughter is dancing around like the ground is on fire there is not time to worry about the types of microbial invaders which are waiting to attack.
I have never been so thankful to find a bathroom empty, with a huge handicap stall. I always feel funny about using the handicap stall, but today I did not care. I opened the door, looked around - clean enough and now the real dilemma.
Help a 3 year old go potty while you are holding a 1 year old away from the potty. I sat the one year old down. Balancing on one foot I blocked her way from putting her hands in the potty with my leg. I must say the acrobatics displayed were envious of any Chevy Chase Saturday Night Live skit.
As I washed 3 sets of hands. I had some flash forward thoughts of other words I will dread. Daddy can you buy me some feminine products.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
New Post
If the "F" word offends you don't watch this. It is said just once.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKiIroiCvZ0
For all those (Susie)that watch their Ipods on a plane this week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKiIroiCvZ0
For all those (Susie)that watch their Ipods on a plane this week.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Merry Christmas 2007 (belated) and 2008 (early)
Hello Internet.
This blog is a Christmas gift to my Uncle Jim. Although an avid reader of and frequent commenter on many blogs, Jim does not have a blog of his own. That's partly due to his own laziness but more likely due to his wife's discouraging him from starting a blog. I strongly believe that Jim has something of value to contribute to the wide world of web and so I have created this little space for him to offer his thoughts, memories, stories, and discoveries. Lucky for us all, this page is equipped with spell check.
Of course Jim will be able to rename his blog should he so desire. I named it Cewebrity James based on a definition I found in The Little Hiptionary (a book I received for Christmas). The hiptionary defines "cewebrity" as: "n.: (celebrity + Web) a person who becomes famous or well-known because of his or her blog or Website; also known as a 'blogebrity'." I am quite certain that through this blog Jim will without question (and to his wife's dismay) become semi-famous and perhaps widely known.
With that said, let's all give Jim a warm welcome!
This blog is a Christmas gift to my Uncle Jim. Although an avid reader of and frequent commenter on many blogs, Jim does not have a blog of his own. That's partly due to his own laziness but more likely due to his wife's discouraging him from starting a blog. I strongly believe that Jim has something of value to contribute to the wide world of web and so I have created this little space for him to offer his thoughts, memories, stories, and discoveries. Lucky for us all, this page is equipped with spell check.
Of course Jim will be able to rename his blog should he so desire. I named it Cewebrity James based on a definition I found in The Little Hiptionary (a book I received for Christmas). The hiptionary defines "cewebrity" as: "n.: (celebrity + Web) a person who becomes famous or well-known because of his or her blog or Website; also known as a 'blogebrity'." I am quite certain that through this blog Jim will without question (and to his wife's dismay) become semi-famous and perhaps widely known.
With that said, let's all give Jim a warm welcome!
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