We need bees. We have birds, but we really need bees. If you're reading this to your kids, you should stop now. You see, this post is about one of my little obsessions, Sex. I am not getting enough Sex. Part of it is the Deer, but for the most part it is the bees. Does that make sense?
Let me start from the end, the tomato. I love a warm, fresh, juicy, firm, just picked tomato from the garden. This year, I have not had a single one. Part of the problem was the cold weather in May, so our tomato plants did not mature very quickly. Then in June, the Deer ate the blossoms. Now, after putting up rope fences and barricades to deter the deer from ruining our crop, only a few of the blossoms are getting pollinated. You know, that means the tomatoes are not getting any sex. So without sex, I am suffering from a lack of all my favorite summer meals...BLTs, warm tomatoes with salt from the vine, with fresh corn, bruschetta, fresh salsa...do you get the picture? I'm really needing the sex!
You know what is really sad, my Mother, brags about the sex she is getting. I think if I were willing to ask, my mother-in-law would brag too.
9 comments:
No mother-in-law has to get off the couch to see if she is getting any. Plus even with his new hair color, Father-in-law still complains that he isn't getting any.
Life can be full of surprises. Even with a house full of children who never seem to sleep, we are getting our full share too.
Just the other day, I counted 20 on one bush. We've already toasted bagels twice, spreading cream cheese and toping them with warm, ripe tomatoes just picked from the vine and sprinkled with salt and freshly ground pepper.
The good news is, we like to share. Not the making but the consumption.
Our plants are doing even worse - I guess the bees don't like living in the 'hood' where we live
This is what I get for being married to Bill Nye the Science Guy.
gIf you can't sample the tomatoes, try some melons. By the way, lemme take a wild guess, Anonymous is Travis?
Are you sure it's the bees?
What happens in greenhouses where they cultivate tomatoes? They don't bring in a hive and turn the bees loose, do they?
I remember going into my uncle's greenhouse in the winter. It was sizable and had about 50 tomato plants. I watched as he flicked the flowers -moving from plant to plant.
When asked what he was doing, he said he was pollinating the plants. Seemed like it worked for him.
Brian
Without the bees, I have had to use methods of self manipulation for pollination. Because of my inability to produce any of my own this year, I am willing to adopt some of your tomatoes.
Brad, I am glad that someone out there thinks that every silly, rude, obscene, mocking or abnormal remark is thought to be me. Seriously.
My theory is that God makes everything for a reason. He made tomatoes to give the word "HATE" some meaning. He gave us "SEX" to counter that hate.
Lastly, no offense to A-Rob but sex and mother-in-law are not to be put together. Ever.
What happened to the days when I would catch my mom and dad seriously making out in the kitchen?
I know that has the potential to completely and fully disgust the younger crew of the fam, but it used to happen frequently as well as often.
BTW - thanks for joining the concept of sex and tomatoes, Jimbo. It's a long-ignored, yet vital topic.
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