Good Morning Stinky Face

I am a morning person. I want to know from you non-morning people, when is it proper to wake you up? For example: If I am in a different time zone with you. It is 10:00 am in your home time zone, you have slept for nine hours... can I wake you up? Even if it is only 7:oo am. Oh and the sun has come up . . . and the fish are going to be fed in 15 minutes!

No room in the Inn!

It took all of December to find it. My wife searched the web daily for any sign of it, She asked numerous people. Then one day it happened, she found it. Can you guess what it is?

I had no idea it even existed. I had heard about it, but never seen it. I must say it is the true meaning of Christmas.

On 15th East between 13th and 9th South is a small canyon-like park. I had no idea there was even a park there. Once a year four different Christian denomination churches come together and transform it into a small city of David. Roman solders take the cost of admission from you, a sack of food for the food bank. You then enter a small market with live animals, hot drinks and a masses of people in costume with no room in any of the Inns. The entire place is lit with torches and luminaries.

A snowy pathway leads you out of the market past a 1500 lb camel named Chuck. Ella was able to pet Chuck. Leah was afraid of Chuck and pretty much demanded her mother carry her through out. Even though it was extremely cold, Leah refused, boots, hat and gloves.

Past Chuck and over a small hill is a small clearing. In the clearing is a small stable, complete wise men, two donkeys, twentieth century light and sound system, and of course Marry, Joseph and a real baby Jesus. On the hill over looking the stable were sheep tended by shepherds. The sound system plays the Christmas story. Ella was able to make it to the front row and watch the Christmas story acted out. Her favorite part was baby Jesus. Leah's favorite was the lambs. Susie favorite part was Leah screaming, "Dad, Ella, lets go!" when the story finished. My favorite part was just being together with my family and enjoying the moment.

Sheep, goats and little shepherd campfires run along the entire trail leading out of the park. It's peaceful and serene and the kids can pet the animals along the way. As we walked along the path, I thought to myself... This is what Christmas is all about!

Scary Christmas?

Scary Christmas? When you are two years old the traditions of Christmas can be a little scary. I know of a few adults that, even today, climb up the wall or head for the nearest exit when they hear Santa's Sleigh bells. I, myself, found visiting Santa at Aurbach's when I was a child very displeasing.

In our house we have a Shelf Elf. He sits on the mantle over the fire place and watches you. He tells Santa about all the good things he sees and at night he moves to new places in the house to watch the children. When you're four years old and find the shelf elf has moved during the night, it is very exciting! But when you're two, the thought of a decoration, that should just stay put, moving about the house is a little upsetting. It makes me wonder what Tim Burton's parents did to him.

I spy

I spy with my little eye. It is a game we play to pass time and divert my kids attention. It is also kind of fun. You know, I spy with my little eye something red. The other people look around and guess all things red.

The other morning while my daughters were taking a tub. The girls were fighting over a tub toy so I called out "I spy with my little eye something brown" Ella sat straight up, dropped the toy and looked at her sister then herself and said in the most confident, sweet way "Is it me and Leah"? It's so endearing how Ella has embraced her skin color, she looks at it, as she should, like it's her hair or eye color. She loves that she has brown, cocoa (as she calls it) skin.

So when she asked if what I spied was her, I had to giggle before telling her it really was her mom's shirt.

So who are you?

What would be your theme song? Monday night we shared family night with some good friends in a suite at the local ballpark, thanks to Ms. Barlow. She really rocks. Thank you again for a great night. Between taking Ella to the in stadium Fannz store and a 45 minute wait for the train, I did catch a little bit of the game.

Earlier this summer I took in a Dodger game with 2 very cool brother in laws and one extra cool nephew. The Dodger game with it's awesome garlic fries and the very eventful ride home would easily be placed on my top 5 lists of fun events of the summer, if I had such a list. Alas, I am not that organized and would hate to demean the wonderful summer by adopting a list.

Sorry, I digressed. The original question was headed to this... If you were a major league player, what song would you want to be played when you go up to bat? The second question is, who picks the song? You or your team mates?

I'd really like my song to be "Getting jiggy with it" - Will Smith.
Actually, I have a challenge...tell me your song and what you think someone else who reads this blog's song would be?

Triple X?

We need bees. We have birds, but we really need bees. If you're reading this to your kids, you should stop now. You see, this post is about one of my little obsessions, Sex. I am not getting enough Sex. Part of it is the Deer, but for the most part it is the bees. Does that make sense?

Let me start from the end, the tomato. I love a warm, fresh, juicy, firm, just picked tomato from the garden. This year, I have not had a single one. Part of the problem was the cold weather in May, so our tomato plants did not mature very quickly. Then in June, the Deer ate the blossoms. Now, after putting up rope fences and barricades to deter the deer from ruining our crop, only a few of the blossoms are getting pollinated. You know, that means the tomatoes are not getting any sex. So without sex, I am suffering from a lack of all my favorite summer meals...BLTs, warm tomatoes with salt from the vine, with fresh corn, bruschetta, fresh salsa...do you get the picture? I'm really needing the sex!

You know what is really sad, my Mother, brags about the sex she is getting. I think if I were willing to ask, my mother-in-law would brag too.

A trip to Bountiful?

I just want to thank the Neff Gang for a great time on Sunday. We just got back from Provo. Provo is far away from reality. We had a great time but we're happy to be home. Utah by 5.

Shut up?

Wow! I know I know it has been a long time since my last entry. I was waiting for just the right story. I know none of you care about my weekend plans, my latest purchase, pictures of my feet, what town I was in last or what things I baked this weekend. If anyone does care about that, it was chocolate chip cookies. I know a few of you do care about my children and the stories about them. Well this a very unusual story.

It all started last Sunday when one of my nephews told another one to, "shut up", in front of Ella. A discussion ensued about bad words and how we should not use them. It was decided that, "shut up" was rude and should never be used. If someone said it, that person would have to go to time out. If any of you know my wife you know, "shut up!" is one of her favorite phrases. She uses it most often when talking on the phone or when someone is telling her a story. She uses it so much it even replaced "pants on fire" several years ago.

So, last night we had my sister in-law and her boyfriend over for dinner. During dinner my sister in-law said something, I can't even remember what it was, but sure enough my wife blurted out, "SHUT UP"! Well you can imagine Ella's reaction. She came over got on my lap, and whispered softly in my ear. "Mommy said, shut up" I asked her what we should do? We both agreed that time out was appropriate. Susie was almost excited that she would get some alone time and was ecstatic that the norm was one minute for every year, until she forgot that in time out you can't talk, move or do anything. In the end, since we had guests over, we all decided that we would set the timer for one minute. I think that was one of the longest, quietest minutes of Susie's life. I'm guessing shut up is getting replaced quickly with something else!

1365 Days with an Accident

Well guess what we did the other night? (I am knocking on wood as I type.) We actually went to Instacare for a traumatic injury. We have been very lucky we have not had an injury requiring a trip to Doctor since becoming parents.

E and L were playing a game of chase around the house before bed. Like most kids, both girls really don't like going to bed, so right before bed time they attempt to wind themselves up. E ran down the hall L followed. E ran to the bedroom and attempted to shut the door before L got there. L however attempted to keep the door open by placing her hand in between the door and wall on the hinge side of the door. E placed her full weight on the door to shut it. She was not actually trying to slam it (she's been getting into trouble for doing that lately) just shut it over and over and over again.

I was on the other side of the house and heard my wife yelling for my help. Then I heard L scream. L had an imprinted line of the door between her knuckles and wrist about a quarter inch deep on both sides of her hand. She was not moving it. It was swelling and turning various shades of purple and blue and just hanging there. After icing it, administering Motrin and giving lots of cuggles (that's E's word for snuggling and cuddling) we decided we better get an x-ray, thinking her hand may be broken.

Luckily Instacare wasn't very busy and we were able to get in quickly. I actually called for an appointment. We realized everything was going to be fine when just as the doctor came in L started clapping furiously. Sort of embarrassing for us...I guess we're paranoid parents. The Doctor was nice and understood our nervousness and took the x-ray, i think just to appease us. Great news, it wasn't broken. Good thing too...a cast in the summer on a toddler would be awful!

On a side note. E does not want sails (buggies) for dinner.

Do you like French food?

When I was in 8th grade I insisted my parents take me to La Parisian, a local French Restaurant. I was taking French as a foreign language requirement and I think I actually got extra credit for eating french food. I remember I had to try the escargot and you know ,they were not bad. After that first trip, my family became regulars at La Parisian, celebrating family events there until the day it's doors sadly closed a few years ago.

Well, our garden is infested with snails. So, for the last 2 weeks my girls and I have been gathering them up, placing them in a big bucket with corn meal. They will be ready for Family dinner this Sunday!

My wife being the voice of reason, said most people are not as adventuresome as me in eating. She reminded me that some family members only eat white food and would not be excited with this epicurian adventure. If I actually served escargot it might be the last time we have people over. All I could do is rub my chin and say, hmm interesting, what about fried worms?

Actually, I really do miss La Parisian.

Free Tide

https://tidewithdawn.offerprocessingcenter.com/

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!

In this corner weighing in at 23 pounds L ...... the hair puller. And in this corner weighing in at 30 pounds E.... the screamer!! I am have no idea how it began. I was making dinner. The girls were playing dolls on the floor. They had spent the day with Grammy. She said they were absolutely perfect. I had come home a little early and began dinner. I was over the sink rinsing and cutting strawberrys. I heard a few little screams, then two huge screams. I looked over, L had her older sister by the ponytail. E had flipped L over her head and was now pinning her to the floor. L's hand never let go of E's hair.

I had to pull one sister off the top of the other and pry E's hair out of L's hand. One cried and said the other should go to time out. One just cried. Having no idea who was at fault I placed them on opposite ends of the couch. Cleaned up all the dolls and the toys, which could have caused the up roar. For the next 30 minutes making dinner was pointless. I should have put on a black and white striped shirt and grabbed a whistle.

The problem is each little girl has amazing huge dark eyes that look so innocent. Each know exactly how to look at their Dad as if to say, how could I do anything wrong. My mind flashed forward to the teenage years and a slight panic attack ensued. I can hear all of the slamming doors now!

I know exactly how it ended though. It ended with 2 little girls both in tears and blaming the other one. One pinned to the ground. The other had a hand full of hair.

Movie Geeks! Yes you .... !

Do you want a inexpensive, fun Friday night activity? Head to your local cineplex, preferably one located close to a few restaurants, sit back and get ready to people watch. Those women that made fun of people dressing up for the premier night of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are now with all of their BFFs and dressed up in their sassiest outfits for their own fantasy faire....the premier weekend of Sex and the City Movie. I just got back from dinner with the kids. I am happy to say, I am still laughing out loud. I think Nordstrom, Macy's, and every other department store in the state is sold out of summer dresses, 5 inch heels and hats.

I'm not making fun of the movie, just these sad girls that think if they dress up like Carrie Bradshaw, drink a cosmo and watch the movie, their life will morph into a fabulous uptown NYC life.

On a sad note, I had my annual physical today. Can any one tell me what movie Chevy Chase sings, "Moon River"? He then asked the Doctor, what?

Standing in the Rain

$135.00 for a barrel of oil. It was at $65.00 a barrel a year ago. I think this will cause economic pressures around the world that will have dramatically impact on our daily lives with in the next 6 months. One indicator that our lives will change is mass transit.

I often look over at those at the bus stop with a little bit of jealousy. The idea of relaxing or sleeping on the bus is dreamy. Except for the fact that I would have two little ones with me. The other morning there was a very handsome gentleman at the bus stop waiting in the rain. So handsome I had to stop and offer him a ride. As I pulled over to the bus stop, small voices in the back, excitably exclaimed Papa!!!

After careful analysis of gas prices and mileage my father has begun taking the bus, a few days a week. This is wonderful for me and my girls. Every now and then we catch him at the bus stop or at the office and can share a ride home. Although, the girls are very shy they love riding with Papa. They love sharing their Princess, Wiggles and Christmas music with him. I just can't wait until they hit him up for College funds.

A test???

http://memoriter.net/flash/test.html

An interesting test.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

If someone wants to enter this contest. I am willing to put my acting skills to the test. I think a great idea would be I am willing pay the $3.99 for a 6 pack of Klondikes.

http://www.klondikecontest.com/Home.aspx

Yard work?

There is nothing quite like work to bring people together. Last night I spent a few hours doing yard work and planting flowers at my mother-in-laws home. I really enjoyed it. It took me back to the first time several years ago I worked all day mending a fence at the family cabin with my brother-in-laws. I have to say I really enjoyed that day too.

I think I could have worked a little harder last night and stayed longer, but with the girls running around it was a big distraction. Not to mention the excitement from a 3 year old who for the first time enjoyed playing with bugs and worms.

Hard work is a good bonding experience and I had a great time with the extended family.

What kind of Adventure do you want?

Some Advertising campaigns are really great. I actually really enjoy watching the Clio awards. I also don't mind being told about the effectiveness of the product. Like, Bob Dole telling me and the world he suffers from E. D. However, some ads leave a lot to be desired. The other morning I was in a Maverick store. I had been up a few extra hours the night before with my daughter and needed a large coffee. As I was filling my coffee up, the Maverick slogan , "adventure begins here" blared shamelessly across the in store stereo system. I will really be annoyed when, they sell advertising to in store radio. (Brian there is your million dollar idea for the day.)

The real question is do I really want my adventure to being in Maverick? I glanced around at the English muffins with egg that had probably been baked yesterday. The Mayo for the hot dogs that I am sure sits out at a temperature that bacterium would love. All I could think, do I really want a salmonella adventure.

But it did not stop there, you have to walk by the prophylactics to check out. All I could think is do employees tamper with products just for the adventure of it? Now that could be an adventure. Hey, remember that late night we stopped by the Maverick just before we went home to start our adventure. Well the product they sold us did not work. But, the good news is the EP test they sold worked just fine!

Like Disneyland, they carry the adventure theme a little far. Not only do the employees wear shirts patterned after Steve Erwin, but their name tags actual say Adventure Guide. Well I just had to participate. When my adventure guy Gary asked me how I was doing and if I found everything ok? I had to respond, "Gary, how could I be anything but great today, my adventure begins here." He gave me a very funny look, and asked if I found everything ok. I said "I think so, but you're the adventure guide, do I need a GPS system for the real Maverick Adventure?" Again a funny look. Shot gun shells for the Maverick Monster? I paid for my coffee, then as I was walking away, Gary said in a soft voice, "stay away from the hot dog bar, the Montezuma's revenge Adventure begins there." Just as I suspected.

Ok what product are these?

Plop pop _____ _____ oh what a relief it is?

Where the Beef?

The only way to fly fly?

Fly the Friendly skies of _______

I would like to buy the world a _________

Tell them Madge sent you.

Free Ice Cream

Just in case you did not know! I am giving away free ice cream tomorrow to all my blog readers. Not really, but tomorrow is free ice cream cone day at Ben and Jerry's. Seems my girls are missing library day for an ice cream adventure!